Faux Fur & Marianne Faithful

 Winter has been long, hard, cold and of no real use to me. Metaphoric? Maybe. 

Below I have posted a series of Faux Fur* birds that I call 

THE BIRDSHIT series. 

*No faux fur was harmed during the creation of these images.

Batshitcrazybirdshit

Flying Birdshit 

-

Birdshit #3

First in the series, I call it Birdshit #1

Birdshit #2
This was a 5 minute job...a quickie if you will. 

Side view

Wisconsin Bird

2 In the Bush

Spread Your Tiny Wings and...OOPS, Shit

I'm Hideous, Look Away

This one's just shit but it's part of the series. 

In conclusion and as promised-

I'm hoping this link works because if it doesn't I'm going to look really stupid. Again.

Another pastel, another melted snowman.

This is a portrait of a friend of mine, Tammi Franke. I am not a portrait artist by any means so it doesn't really look like her but a girl's gotta try right? 

Torn In 2 

This drawing was done on two pieces of paper. The paper was ripped in 2 by my good friend and very talented artist Michael DiMilo. He didn't care for the work that he had done so he trashed it, I took the paper and drew on the back of it. One man's trash is another's source for drawing on. Anyway...

Still working on a title here and it was pointed out that this giraffe has no neck.
It did have a neck but it doesn't now. My drawing, my rules.

And just as a side note, yes I know you aren't supposed to start a sentence with the word "and", my snowman bit the dust yesterday. Since I live in Wisconsin where it can be -50 one day and 40 the next this should not have been a surprise. While his demise was a slow and torturous one, I believe it's for the best. He was rude, he drank too much and stole my car keys.

Until we meet again and I figure out how to transfer this blog to Tumblr so the 3 people that read it can actually follow it, I bid you a beer. I don't speak or write in French so this will have to do.

Birds, Beer & other irrelevant spew...oh, and Moose, Moose is not irrelevant.

Moose...from Moose & Squirrel. Squirrel is shown on previous post.
Good luck finding that because I sure had a hard time figuring it out. Anyway...

To answer your question, yes, birds do drink beer. I thought that was common knowledge 

but I may have been wrong. I usually am occasionally. 

To prove this fact, I have attached an actual bird...drinking beer. 

Proof that birds drink beer...and wear ties. 

Definitely a Gin drinker. 

And then, ok, I'm not sure about her.


I'll end this with me on all fours. The less sense this makes the better.

Self portraits that didn't quite work out & a squirrel

When I first came back to drawing, after my children were old enough not to rub their hands all over them and say "pretty" with a smile, I started drawing whatever I had in my head. I've purged most of it on paper yet much like my basement, garage & attic, there's always something else you have to get rid of.  Anyway, here are some early self-portraits...as stated, that didn't really work out but then what ever really does in life? My earlier work was compared by someone to that seen in Mad Magazine. I grew up reading that magazine and so I think that's rather cool.
The following are all pastel with some bits of stuff glued on here and there so I chose not to label them as such. Seems like overkill.

This was one of my first. It's pretty spot on as far as the emotion goes, and the hair, and the blood-shot eyes, and the big mouth but the outfit, I don't own an outfit like that.  

This is...I'm not really sure what's going on here. All I can say is that I do own a dress like this.  

Ever feel like you want to crawl inside a box and just sit there, in that box, all day?
Or at least for an hour?  Just sitting in a box for one hour. 

This was done after a, let's call it a discussion,
with my teenage daughter one night. 

I cannot drink champaign, I cannot even stand the smell of it.
It's evil and it stays with you for days and days, weeks even. REally bad.  

Yes, I am asking myself the same question. 

One of my college professors back in the 1700's  stated to the class during a critique,
"Carol sure does know how to draw her bangs."  Guess I showed him. 

Another time in class, the same professor asked me if I really felt I was in the right program.  Painting & Drawing.  I'm still not sure but I paid for it so I'm going to use it. My brother told me it's not a good  idea to use curse words on this blog so I'll refrain here. 

I don't drink martinis either but a beer bottle would've covered up too much of this fine piece of art.  

And so I couldn't help but notice that your hand seems to be connected directly to your clavicle.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. 

Hey, if I glue this bow on maybe it'll bring the whole thing together.
Or maybe just add a flower on the side. Yeah, that should work. 

Light up a Camel and look over there. 

I worked at a greenhouse one summer and the owner thought it was funny that he called me "chickenlip" because I have very thin, refined lips. I decided to give myself some lips. My brother used to call me skunk but skunks don't have anything I desire. 

I'm pretty sure this is where I'll be in about 2 years. 

And this is where the self-portrait phase started to take a nose dive and my ability to write began.  "My ability to write", sometimes I just crack myself up. 
One more thing...my blog, my misuse of punctuation is something I'll be struggling with for the rest of my life.
 It could be worse. 

I almost to forgot the squirrel. Here's the squirrel.  He'll be discussed, at length in my next posting. 

Things my brothers have taught me that have nothing to do with my art...

My brother Charlie, he's the middle child, told me that all things in the world are made up of molecules and all molecules are made up of water. This being the case, it should not be shocking to you that when  someone farts and you smell it, you are in fact also eating it. Just to prove this point, he once demonstrated it for me on an elevator. This is what I learned that day: 1. There is no way to escape an elevator unless you are carrying a rope and a grappling hook while in said elevator and 2. Never ride on an elevator with my brother Charlie.

"Love Stinks" - Pastel/Foam core board

Many years ago, my oldest brother Craig told me that Life's a shit sandwich and you take a bigger bite everyday. When I asked him how his job was going he replied, "Work? Work sucks, that's why they have to pay people to do it."  For the most part, I believe both of these statements to be true. He also told me never to hit anyone bigger than myself because they might just hit you back and it's gonna hurt.  That, I know for a fact, is true. 

"I Can't Remember if Half of What I say is True" -Pastel

In conclusion, for today, I raise my glass (bottle) and continue to ponder the meaning of life. 

I'm workin' on it.

Welcome to my world of paper, pastel and sometimes poorly written blog bits.

This is my first attempt at a blog and I am going to do my best to do it right and keep it interesting. I am currently in the midst of trying to "follow the instructions".  I have never been good at following instructions, written or otherwise, conforming or adhering to norms of acceptable behavior or parking my truck in the middle of the yellow lines so here goes.

This first drawing is called "Oh NO, Not Today". I would've put that title just below the image but cannot figure out how to do that yet. 

As long as I'm pretty much stuck on this first page I may as well take this opportunity to tell you a bit about myself. I'm in my 50's, (early years), I have teenagers, a dog and I work as an Art Director in retail advertising. I know, WOW, she does all that AND has blog? I don't know how I do it either. 

I can also tell you that when I go into my studio I never know what I'm going to do or what I've done when I leave until I see it the next day. I mainly work with pastels as the base of my drawings and then if the moment's right, I'll add things to it. Fabrics, feathers, wire...stuff, anything that'll stick. Most of it usually ends up in my hair but that's just part of the process, whatever that process may be. 

I am now going to attempt to add images so that you can see what it is that I do. 

I'm excited to see what I do. 

"That's me, an Old Kazoo with some Sparklers"-Pastel/Mixed Media

I title many of my pieces using quotes from old movie stars that I admire. I find their words inspiring and much more humorous than mine...most of the time. 

"My Stupid Girlfriend from 1963" - Pastel

She wasn't my girlfriend. I never had a girlfriend in 1963, though in the 60's I did have a coat like this. My Mom bought it for me at Rober Hall. That was a pretty big deal back then. Cloth coats with fake fur and wooden buttons. I also had white go-go boots to go with it and lime green fishnets. I was really pretty cool for a 6 year old. 

"It May be true, generally, that there is Nothing Older than "Yesterday's Newspaper". 

Here is an exception..." - Pastel/Newspaper

The title doesn't really make any sense but it was the only quote I could find about newspaper and at the time thought it worked. I truly cannot stand a piece of art that is Untitled. 

"Untitled and Very Upset about It"-Pastel

Did I mention that I'm a prolific liar? 

"Sunday Paper" -Pastel/Newspaper

This was going to be a pretty cool piece until I decided it would be a really good idea to spray the paper with a lacquer to add some shine. It wasn't a really good idea, not at all. 

"Rock & Roll" -Pastel/Mixed Media
The top is made is made from a poster I did for Francis Ford-Milwaukee's House Photographer Extraordinare!  I believe that's his old roommate Ceasar aiming at you. 

"Stupid Talent Show"- Pastel/Mixed Media

"One does Not relight a Cigarette" -Pastel/Mixed Media

...and by mixed media I mean I made her dress out of foam core board bits. 

I do enjoy a good foam core board bit. Doesn't everyone? 

"She was Worth a look, She was Trouble" Pastel/Splattered paint

"I often take a Brand-new Suit or Hat and Throw it up Against the Wall a few times to 

get that Stiff, Square Newness out of It"-Pastel/Fabric

Used James Stewart as a reference for drawing and quoted Fred Astaire for title. 

A few minutes ago I hit a button and this whole blog vanished. It may not look like an enormous amount of effort but it is a bit daunting. I have to post images and then I feel the need to talk about them. I will await comments from my 2 older brothers to see how this is going so far. They'll be painfully honest, bring Craig & Charlie!